…the almost right word

listening to ani all day today…i sit at my desk and get stuff done.

i chat with old friends, long lost friends, and catch up with m.l.s. on the phone. i revel in the comfort of people who know me, people who accept me…embrace me. i am full of smiles and quiet giggles. i am eternally nostalgic.

i look forward to dusk, and to pouring myself a glass of prosecco (to be followed by wine or tequila, t.b.d.).

i look forward to relaxing and letting go for the rest of the day…to the best of my ability, that is.

there is always something, isn’t there? something lurking in the back of your mind, preventing the simplicity of life. we always think, ‘once ______ is _____, i will be happy.’ don’t get me wrong, i’m not saying that i’m unhappy. i don’t feel dissatisfied or lonely. i don’t feel all that lost even. yet, somehow, my mind wanders away from the tight leash on which i keep it, and, like a scratch on the bottom of your foot (when you’re wearing two layers of socks and a pair shoes), some anxiety-inspiring thought creeps in. it is a familiar ghost that i welcome. i have to. if i didn’t, i would be truly haunted.