an excerpt from ‘dry’
as i leave the building, i begin to feel somewhat elated. the bright side of the situation steps forward in my mind: i managed to escape from that awful intervention unscathed, i have over a month off from work, and it’s only two in the afternoon.
i do not have to go to work tomorrow or the next day or the day after this. as i walk away from the building, i have a sense of flight. the sun is strong, with heavy clouds in the sky. i can get seriously drunk tonight without that awful, annoying concern about how much i will stink in the morning.
i feel high, as though i have been handed some incredibly good news.
what i really like to do is get drunk at home so i don’t feel so nervous and inhibited, then go out to some dive bar and talk to guys. you never know who you’ll meet or where you’ll end up. it’s like this fucking incredible vortex of possibility. anything can happen at a bar. unlike greer, i have options, i like to not really know what’s going to happen next. resolutions can be very dull.
then it hits me. an awful glitch. something so unfathomable that it dawns on me with a slow blackness that makes me feel hollow.
in order to get away with this, i may actually have to something so horrifying that i can barely admit it to myself.
i may actually have to go to rehab.
–augusten burroughs
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