…the almost right word

New York Times article titled Who are we? Coming of age on antidepressants

Since their emergence in the late 1980s, serotonin reuptake inhibitors like Prozac and Zoloft have become some of the most widely prescribed drugs in the world, for depressed teenagers as well as adults. Because depression is often a chronic, recurring illness, there are certain to be many young people who are coming of age on these newer antidepressants.

It was not an issue I had seriously considered before. Most of my patients, who are adults, developed their psychiatric problems after they had a pretty clear idea of who they were as individuals. During treatment, most of them could tell me whether they were back to their normal baseline.

Julie could certainly remember what depression felt like, but she could not recall feeling well except during her long treatment with antidepressant medications. And since she had not grown up before getting depressed, she could not gauge the hypothetical effects of antidepressants on her emotional and psychological development.

Sound familiar?

I read the article and can’t help but think of all the people I know who have taken antidepressants. Then I think of all the people I know who are still taking antidepressants. I guess it started when we were about 16 or so. For me, it began when I turned 20. I was depressed long before then, but I always need to hit ‘rock bottom’ before I give into the SSRI’s. Sometimes I think I’ll never stop taking it. Sometimes I think I need something stronger.

I talk a lot with my therapist about easing off of it altogether. For the most part, I think I’m ready for this.

Nevertheless, I can’t help but fear the possibility that the anxiety and depression will come right back to haunt me.